I've been on ADHD medication for almost a month now, after years of wondering, months of talking to a psychiatrist and various medical checkups. I can say that it's already changing my life quite a lot and improving my daily life quite a lot. I'm finally able to pay attention through long meetings, to understand things that take time, and I'm also listening more finally.
One of the things that I had a harder time controlling was that my nervousness baseline was high. Usually, my left leg would always be moving, I'd be biting my nails all the time. Now, except when going through a stressful event, I'm finally calm.
For the first time (since I can't remember when) my mind is also quiet most of the time. When I'm not focused on something for work, I can finally enjoy a silent mind with no intrusive thoughts, no infinite to-do list building, ... It's interesting, at the end of the day I'm way less exhausted than before, it's like as if I was spending so much energy every day for nothing. At night I'm able to go to sleep much quicker.
All of this makes me wonder quite a lot about how my life would have been different if I had been under this treatment previously. One of the reasons I left university was because I was unable to focus for long hours, even more, to study in front of a desk for weeks. I wonder what I could have accomplished if I had been in the same state I am now. I'm proud of where I am in life right now, but still, the what if's are still there.
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