August 28th, 2023

Sometimes there's a lingering feeling across the corner while I'm making my way through life. I often laughed about those people going through a crisis around their 40 years old of things like that, but suddenly I find myself asking more and more "is that all there is?".

The last years have been quite eventful and the coming months will bring a lot of joy (getting married yaaaay) but what are the next "steps"? I've grown with some kind of plan put in my mind: find a stable job, a good spouse, buy a house, ... Sure we'll end up buying a flat (in this economy?! I know right), and I still have some steps I can climb in my job but then what?

When I look back 10 years ago I'm happy of course. I've left a job that almost burned me two times, I'm in a stable and loving relationship (not getting anxiety from a relationship was a first!), I'm getting married and have a lot of friends. But sometimes I'm feeling a bit lost and wondering if I hit a wall, or what I could do next.

I feel like I have some struggle setting new goals aside from those my education taught me especially in nowadays context (I won't paint a picture but focusing on my little life is how I'm able to keep my sanity). I'm a bit at loss also on where to invest my energy as there's a limited amount of things I can cope with to keep my mind balanced.