Tsundoku

Lately I realised I had a bit of an accumulation problem, some kind of (mostly) digital bulimia. Be it podcasts (that I almost never listened), digital books that I hoard (thanks to relocating to Paris I don't have the space anymore to have them in physical form), video games I never have enough time to finish, movies, tv shows, ... I tend to accumulate things I don't have really the time to go through.

I keep finding myself bookmarking new things to watch, buy, rent, or read (even though my digital library has currently reached 5000 books, which I will never be able to read in the span of my lifetime). There's something in the accumulation process, in knowing I have the thing at hands that reassure me. Every time I add something to the pile I get a small spike of dopamine.

I try to tell myself that I also share what I find with my friends and family, but it's a white lie. While I do share them, it's not the foundation of the process. I'm now trying my best to refrain myself from bookmarking everything, refrain myself from impulsive buying and I'm slowly realising how hard it is to resist to myself and how much times per day we are blasted with ads or messages to buy new shiny things.

I don't know exactly when this craving started but I didn't realise the proportions it took over the years and how much I succumbed to every single one of my cravings and piled things on things. I feel like a dragon hoarding digital gold coins.